You Pesky Armadillo

YOU ARE A PAIN IN MY BUTT.....AND UGLY!!!

Yes, this is obviously the newest member of our family. He keeps me from going to bed early and irritates me just like my kids can irritate me. Why you may ask? What has this ugly thing done to you? Well, he/she (I don't know what sex it is and I don't plan on finding out, if it's a boy, this is not the boy I pictured ever having...) is digging up all my plants, killing them, keeps my dog, Homer, barking at all different times of the night, digs hole throughout my yard, and has broken one of my solar lights. This all started a couple of weeks ago when I walked out one morning to see complete chaos in my front yard, I couldn't figure out what it was, I thought maybe Homer got out and was the culprit of this but he never gets off the deck and if we do get him out he goes right back to it. I probably would have never known if I didn't call my sis-in-law griping about my new enemy and she told me what it was. Jeff and I sit outside mostly every night for a little bit and we were out there and what do you know my friend enemy came out from hiding. That led to me jumping up and cussing at it and accusing he/she of demolishing my plants, like it really knew what I was saying or if it even much less cared. I think either 1. Jeff was tired of hearing me always gripe about it or 2. it was an excuse for him to shoot his BB gun. (Not to kill it, just scare it a little bit and maybe keep it from coming back.) Next thing I knew, he was walking outside with his BB gun ready to go. I was on one side of my car taking a picture of it while he was on the other about to shoot it.

Bang!

Right in the BUTT! You go hubbie! That'll show 'em!

It took off running into the woods. 

5 minutes later:

Here it comes waddling back into the yard.

10 seconds later:

Jeff is pumping his BB gun and aiming:

2 seconds later:

Bang! That thing jumped about 3 feet high and growled! I didn't even know they could jump! Jeff got the biggest kick out of it, I had taken a mad sprint back into the garage, good thing they mostly eats ants and plants, I sure would hate to die from being eaten by an armadillo.

Which means "little armored one" in Spanish. Huh, huh, bet y'all didn't know that one!

15 minutes later: ( See what I mean about losing precious sleep?)

Now it comes up from underneath my car. The darn thing will never go away!!! I want to cry. All this worked me up for a glass of wine. I guess it's good for something...

10 seconds later:

Bang!

It took off running back into the ditch. It was playing mental games with both of us now. I finally gave up and went inside. He won for that night, but I'll get it. Eventually. I'm going to plan a stake out. Maybe even tonite. I ended up having a nightmare it was in my house that night and Riley and Hayden thought it was our new dog. Never will we have a pet Armadillo!

Crime Scene Photos

(My poor Hydrangea!)

WANTED:

Ugly, gross Armadillo who eats plants and breaks solar lights.

Hard of hearing. Big mean eyes.

1  foot long. Armored shell.

Short legs. Fast runner.

Sharp Claws.

Annoying as hell.

Kirby