Can You E-Mail 911?

Today has so far turned out to be wonderful. I woke up and was ready to go for the day, that I didn't even need my cup of coffee. I didn't even feel the need to sit down and watch Good Morning America. The kids weren't acting crazy as soon as they got up wanting to eat breakfast right that second. Sadie didn't pull every cleaner out of the cabinet. And instead of wanting to watch Spongebob this morning, they wanted to watch the Discovery Channel. There hasn't been any poopy diapers yet today and any bare naked butts running around the house (They like to take their diapers off and run, I guess the air feels good on them I don't know?) Hayden actually let Sadie take a nap instead of barging into her room a dozen times. Riley didn't spill her juice everywhere when she poured it. Lunch time wasn't so bad either, they actually ate it instead of wearing it and throwing everything on the floor.

Who am I kidding?

Today has been a NIGHTMARE!

I did in fact wake up thinking it was going to be a good day. We have Riley's "Meet the Teacher" today and that's exciting, her first teacher! I get to go to Walmart all by myself tonite and do grocery shopping. Yes, I did indeed say all-by-myself! I couldn't be happier! (Wow, that's sad I am so happy about this!) I made hubs his sandwich and he went to work and all was quiet. Too quiet. So unusual too. Hayden or Sadie are always up at about 6:30 or earlier. I poured my coffee and went back to my bed and turned on Good Morning America in peace. It was great.

For the 2 minutes I got to watch it for.

Hayden was already trying to open the pantry door and get out whatever she could reach. (I have one up on her for the time being, I put a gate up in my laundry room/pantry so that way she can't open the pantry door anymore and climb my shelves, it just sucks because I'm constantly having to step over this gate or I trip over it) So when she couldnt get anything out she was not a happy camper! And I laughed.

Score:
Mom- 1
Hayden- 0

I ended having to feed them right then (such a burden feeding my kids breakfast, huh?) they couldnt wait 10 more minutes so I could finish my coffee it needed to be right then. Why I gave them chocolate Pop-tarts, I'm not real sure because Sadie ended up wearing it instead and Hayden threw crumbles on the floor, Riley didn't eat the crust.

Mom-1
Hayden-1
Riley-1
Sadie-1

Sadie pulled out every bit of my cleaners from the cabinets. Which yes I know I could get the latches (Mother, I know this, quit shaking your head right about now), but I cook alot and I hate those latches and they end up in resulting in smashed fingers. After I cleaned that up and walked back into the kitchen she had all my Tupperware on the floor and was sitting in them.

Mom-1
Sadie-2

Hayden has had 1 poopy diaper and Sadie 2. Sadie ran around butt naked for a little bit until I put a onesie on her so she couldnt take it off anymore. I listened to Spongebob's theme song and wanted to slit my throat. Riley and Hayden got into a screaming arguement and they both woke up Sadie after only 20 minutes of her taking a nap, hmm where are we at?

Mom-1
Hayden-4
Riley-2
Sadie-2


Lunch time rolled around and they were acting like I havent fed them in 2 days so I made the usual peanut butter and jelly's, cheeto's and some mandarin oranges. I cleaned the floor for 10 minutes after they all got done eating.

I'm freaking losing here! My score is still at 1!

Next was bath time. I hate bath time! I think the worse part about it is trying to comb thru Riley's thick curly, wet hair and mopping up the floor with the pond they just made out of it. I had just got off the phone and sat it down on the bathroom counter and turned off the water. I needed to make a quick sprint and go get the conditioner out of my bathroom for Riley and in the time it took me to do that, literally about 15 seconds. I walked into their bathroom and screamed in horrified terror! MyPhoneWasFloatingInTheBathtub. Hayden handed me my phone-"Here you go, Momma".

Mom-1
Hayden-1,000,000,000,000 Need I go on?

I'm sick. I think I will be anyways. My only communication with my family that live hours away from me. My only communication to Jeff while he's at lunch. My only communication to my sister in law I talk to 5-10 times a day. What if something horrible happened to one of the girls and I needed to call 911? What if my house caught on fire? I couldn't call ANYONE. I have no phone! There is still water floating in the inside of it. Poor, poor, phone. I'm so sorry Hayden got ahold of you and thought you needed a bath too!

So that made me think of the question, can you email 911?

Hopefully I won't need to.
Now I'm going to go cry. Again.
Guard your phones from your kids. They are not safe. Anytime. Anywhere.

Love, Kirby
                  (the girl who has no phone and who's kids win on a daily basis)

P.S. To my family who is reading this, one day I will call yall again.