I can definitely tell you that since Riley is home all week long on Thanksgiving break, 24.5 arguments have already broke out between all of us.
I can definitely tell you that I want to hide underneath my bed and not come out until hubs gets home from work.
I can also definitely tell you that flowers do not belong up my 2 year olds nose.
I was walking out to my mailbox to grab the mail and of course Hayden followed me out the front door, so while I'm trying to drag her back into the house, she managed to grab what little flowers I do still have left that have not yet died. I'm still griping at her because she's trying to knock over my scarecrow and I finally managed to get her little body into the house and lock the door. Ok, good that's done with, now I can go finish up folding the laundry. I wasn't even done taking the clothes out of the drier yet when I heard this shrill scream coming from her and Riley.
I stomp back into the living room and it's like a dang bomb or something went off. Riley is screaming and jumping up and down,
"Hayden stuck a flower up her nose! Hayden stuck a flower up her nose!"
Hayden is screaming "flowwa in nose! flowwa in nose!"
I'm screaming "What the hell where you thinking?" (Ok, sorry I was mad!)
So I layed her down, she's still screaming and crying and I see this flower lodged way up into her nose. Great. Just freaking wonderful. I am NOT going back up to that doctors office to get a flower out of my child's nose. Nope, not gonna do it. You can't make me!
I went and got the tweezers, by this time her nose is bleeding. Riley is still freaking out. I'm grossing out. Hayden is screaming. Well and I guess I was freaking out a little bit, okay? I mean really, I don't do well in situations like this. Jeff is much better at being calm than me.
I won't ever admit that to him.
So once again I'm holding Hayden down with the tweezers to her nose. Tried that. And failed. Still have a flower stuck up the nose.
I love Google? Don't you?
That's what I did next, I Googled!
"How to get something out of your
About 11,600,000 results came up.
Ok good, I'm not the only crazed parent Googling this subject obviously. I found what I was looking for. I wasn't so sure I could pull it off or if it would even work, but why not give it a shot, it's better than loading them all up and heading up to the doc's!
The scenario was this:
I went into the living room where Hayden was picking her nose and whining. I rolled my eyes. I picked her up and layed her down on the floor. I was pretty much on top of her to hold down her legs, my knees on her arms to hold them down (Thank goodness no one saw me doing this, they probably would be thinking I was strangling my child!) I pressed her left nostril in (the flower was in the right one) opened her mouth, leaned in and put my mouth over hers and blew as hard as I could.The flower flew out...
and STUCK TO MY CHEEK!!!
How GROSS is that, a snot stuck flower is on my dang cheek!!!!!
Then I laughed uncontrollably. I couldn't stop laughing because I mean seriously??? I think I was most impressed that it actually worked! Whoever came up with that plan of action is a GENIUS! Needless to say, if it ever happens again, hopefully not, I now know what to do! Hayden and Riley were looking at me like I was some circus freak.
Child....You had better love me and remember this when your a teenager. I just saved your nose.
Yep that's it, that is what was stuck up her nose and stuck on my cheek. A snot filled flower. Maybe I'll give to her for dinner.
I'm going to go hide under my bed now, if anyone needs me, you know where to find me.